Sometimes i just Hate being unable to have a normal Job, and together with Depression its not really something i can suggest but who am i talking to, you probably know how this feels i seen a good load of people on the Pediverse Struggle with multiple different problems so at least it doesn’t make me feel so Lonely with my Problems
More then a Month ago i took over some of the Moderation on the Pediverse Instance FreakU (when i decided to get rid of troublesome people and harassers to make the Pediverse more wholesome as mentioned 2 posts under this) and i had Fun for 10-12h a Day spending my time under Friends, giving them heartwarming help and comments and removing Elements who harm us or others, but the Instance recently Crashed and might take some time until it returns.
So currently im stuck with just my own instance and 4-5 Active users, and still half my friends (since my 425+ from FreakU are gone with it being down) i though if i could get my own Instance legally moved to America and allow Lolicons to Attract more users (considering since march we never had a single second downtime or any problems) but this would probably just make friendly instances block me without attracting much more users, and also probably not legal for me (and i have no XP how to set one up but would love to just to get rid of 500 character limit and other important stuff)
So currently i just sit around for 12-14h a Day doing nothing Except Chat on the Pediverse, Element, watch streams or re-watch The Next Generation or Special Victims Unit (btw. Fuck you B.D. Wong, insiders will know why) or wait till Tuesday/Friday when we have a MAP Chat in my country open, so i need something to do, i though about opening a local MAP Story in my Country Online, but for one i got no Safety, Experience and im probably the only Guy in my Country even having or wearing MAP Pride stuff so its pointless to even Try.
Does anyone need Help with any MAP Projects or Anything currently? i know there’s an Amazing Project coming up i cant talk about for now, and i hope i can add a lot of stuff to it.
My Second problem that is coming up and i have always been Facing the last years is, that since my Grandma died 12th September i will soon get the Will Opened and told how much shit i get (not like i care about money much, but maybe it could start or support some map projects) and also got to call my Father and remove Refrigerator and Washing Machine from her Apartment and then move it to mine, that’s when my Father will see my Apartment with my MAP Pride Flags/Shirts/Stuff, all my Transage Stuff (much of Bibi Blocksberg which i cannot hide in this Quantity nor want to hide anymore), and much more, and either he will not notice, or ill probably have to explain stuff to him in a long talk during a walk outside, hes much of a nice guy and never harmed me or said anything Bad, but he also lives in a rural area were most people are conservative.
But same counts for my Grandma who always loved and Supported me and never had a bad word for me, (al tho i got to add she was from old times born 1934 during war, she was no alt-right but still had conservative views, and once when she invited me for Dinner with her she read from the newspaper about the French Soccer Team mostly being black and referred to them as Bushman, N***rs and Bimbos which me as left liberal just ignored) and i talked about my outing to her before on the pediverse, and would like to add this to my Blog for once
So like 7 yrs ago i was at old my Apartment cooking (which takes 3h more professionally for my meat) so it rings on the door and my Grandma Appears with Stuff, she claims how dirty my apartment is because there is 10+ opened letters laying on a Table in the entrance room, i told her i will move them later, she said this wont happen “you always let these laying around instead of sorting the important ones into folders.”
so i kept on Cooking and she said “oh insurance company this is just trash” then “oh your house owner this needs to be kept” and i was like how does she know that without going trough my Mail? but then i remember she never had a problem not respecting Privacy… then she said “oh this is from the Psychiatric hospital”, so i rushed to the Main Hall and tried to take it out of her Hands but she already held it behind her Back and for the first time in her life i see anger in her Face, and hear her Screaming “WHAT IS THIS” so i said “uh just a Letter?” So she pulled it from her Back and held me the Letter with the Diagnosis of Pedophilia to my Face and keeps Screaming “NO THIS DIAGNOSIS” and i take the Letter away from her Fast, and say this is just who i am and what i am, nothing big about it, so she Screams:
“Are you making this up?”
“Is anyone telling you these lies”
“This is not Happening in OUR Family”
And things like that, she almost had a Heart Attack i can see her shaking and then running outside Slamming the Door, i was so sad and Crying, i finished Cooking and ate the Whole meat at once till i started Puking, later she Called me and asked nicely if i needed something from Shopping Next Day and behaved like nothing Happened, for Days i though why she reacted so Normal, but then guessed it was so Traumatic her Brain just suppressed and ignored it and since then we never talked about this Again…
On the Good side, this is what Arrived Today…
Purse of the Loli “Kanna Kamui” from the Anime “Kobayashi-San Chi no Maid Dragon” it is Trash Quality but atleast it has Lolis 🙂
2. A Pink Hoodie with Loving Dragons (not unpacked yet because i still got Corona and don’t wanna infect it)
Also this Came Last Week, i will still get some awesome stuff like buttons to add to it
And there’s more Stuff coming the next few days, al tho its hard finding Stores selling Loli Stuff